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Sep. 20th, 2008 04:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
korafoxOkay, for all the people who have told me over the years that spiders are my friends, that they are the Good Guys of Nature who eat all the evil insects, I now have unarguable proof that that theory is Bull. Shit.
I was minding my own business in my apartment, trying to figure out the best place to leave the dough to rise for these sweetbuns I'm trying to make. When all of a sudden, I am ambushed by a spider jumping down from who knows where, onto the rim of my mixing bowl. (By a side note, I also have unarguable proof that I am favored of the gods, because despite the perfect chance, the spider did not jump down into the dough itself and thus ruin my appetite for sweetbuns forever). I managed to knock the damn thing off onto the floor, then, quite nicely holding down the impulse to shout obscenities at the top of my lungs and chuck furniture at it, I went (mostly) calmly into the kitchen to get some paper towel.
Where I was greeted by a second spider on the wall of my kitchen.
This is the point where I gave in and started swearing. (Those of you who know me well and think it'd be funny to get me to do this again, please note that if you start chucking spiders at me I will tear your still-beating heart from your chest and set it on fire. lols, injoke.)
So now I have apparently become the target of some tag-team commando spider unit. I am freaking out but decide to take care of the one that's already on the floor, first. Please keep in mind that these things are about the size of a penny, big enough that I can see their little jaws opening and closing in anticipation of my sweet, tender flesh. And they can jump. So I grab a wad of paper towel and beat a hasty retreat out of the kitchen, then carefully kick over the stack of plastic bags that the first spider took shelter in. It takes me about five tries to actually hit the thing, because it's hopping all over, and three more smashes to actually do it in. Spider A is sent to the trash bin.
So by this point, Spider B has made its way up the kitchen wall, higher than I care to attempt to engage it (I am a smart person and consider the consequences were it to try to jump at me from that height). So, like any seasoned warrior, I set down to wait. The spider took a few minutes, but traversed its way onto the pots on top of my toaster, then onto my rice cooker, and finally got down to a spot on the wall where I slapped a big plastic bowl over it. Knocked it to the floor and made sure I had the bowl on top of it. Then I scooted the bowl to the door, kicked it out spider and all, and retrieved my bowl after the thing had hopped away. It's not so much that I'm a forgiving person as that I didn't want to try my luck getting up close with two of these things in one day.
So in conclusion, there is a reason why spiders are the epitome of evil in Tolkien, and I would gladly suffer mosquito bites if only the spiders stayed the hell out of my apartment.
I was minding my own business in my apartment, trying to figure out the best place to leave the dough to rise for these sweetbuns I'm trying to make. When all of a sudden, I am ambushed by a spider jumping down from who knows where, onto the rim of my mixing bowl. (By a side note, I also have unarguable proof that I am favored of the gods, because despite the perfect chance, the spider did not jump down into the dough itself and thus ruin my appetite for sweetbuns forever). I managed to knock the damn thing off onto the floor, then, quite nicely holding down the impulse to shout obscenities at the top of my lungs and chuck furniture at it, I went (mostly) calmly into the kitchen to get some paper towel.
Where I was greeted by a second spider on the wall of my kitchen.
This is the point where I gave in and started swearing. (Those of you who know me well and think it'd be funny to get me to do this again, please note that if you start chucking spiders at me I will tear your still-beating heart from your chest and set it on fire. lols, injoke.)
So now I have apparently become the target of some tag-team commando spider unit. I am freaking out but decide to take care of the one that's already on the floor, first. Please keep in mind that these things are about the size of a penny, big enough that I can see their little jaws opening and closing in anticipation of my sweet, tender flesh. And they can jump. So I grab a wad of paper towel and beat a hasty retreat out of the kitchen, then carefully kick over the stack of plastic bags that the first spider took shelter in. It takes me about five tries to actually hit the thing, because it's hopping all over, and three more smashes to actually do it in. Spider A is sent to the trash bin.
So by this point, Spider B has made its way up the kitchen wall, higher than I care to attempt to engage it (I am a smart person and consider the consequences were it to try to jump at me from that height). So, like any seasoned warrior, I set down to wait. The spider took a few minutes, but traversed its way onto the pots on top of my toaster, then onto my rice cooker, and finally got down to a spot on the wall where I slapped a big plastic bowl over it. Knocked it to the floor and made sure I had the bowl on top of it. Then I scooted the bowl to the door, kicked it out spider and all, and retrieved my bowl after the thing had hopped away. It's not so much that I'm a forgiving person as that I didn't want to try my luck getting up close with two of these things in one day.
So in conclusion, there is a reason why spiders are the epitome of evil in Tolkien, and I would gladly suffer mosquito bites if only the spiders stayed the hell out of my apartment.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 01:29 pm (UTC)GAH, you're braver than me. I would have called someone else in to commit a serious spider smashing.
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Date: 2008-09-20 01:42 pm (UTC)But were the situation different, Gods yes, I would have gotten someone else. I'm so freaked out by spiders that I can't even stand the idea of one being in the same room as me.