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korafoxSo I'm in a sleep-deprived and caffeine-induced haze right now, but bear with me.
I'm somewhat frustrated with myself right now in regards to the roleplaying game I'm currently participating in. The game itself is amazing and compelling. Everyone involved is fabulously creative and we're creating a majestic tapestry of a world together. But I can't help but feel like I'm letting myself and my character down lately, at least during the last two sessions.
I guess the two biggest things I'm kicking myself for are these:
1. I'm losing track of who, exactly, my character is. Now, granted, my character herself is dealing with some identity crises due to a plethora of recently-discovered other lives. But there should still be a core there who can react to that crisis, and who is trying to maneuver through the game world. It's fine to have a character who is unsure of herself, but I shouldn't be unsure of the words to put into her mouth. I've had too many incidences lately of coming up against the problem of "How the heck would Dahlia react to that?".
2. I like playing characters who are intelligent, and I rarely run into the "my character is smarter than me" problem. But I feel like this has constantly been happening lately...and I'm not even sure I can pin down a specific instance of it. So this one is a double-edged sword in that I not only feel stupid, but feel like I'm not living up to the character.
I'm honestly not sure how to go about fixing the problem. A month ago, I would have said that I had a great idea of who my character was and how to play her. Part of it may be that I've been crafting a bunch of past lives for her in the past two weeks, so I'm starting to disconnect from the persona I actually have to play. Another part may just be sheer mental fatigue from hitting crunch time at school, keeping me from being able to get into her head properly. Maybe I just need to spend more time with her, although the last session's journal was singularly unhelpful in that regard.
The most frustrating part is that in roleplaying games, there are no backsies. I can wake up the next day and think of the perfect thing for her to have said or done, but that's not the consensus version of events that we created. You get one shot at it, and the consequences of poor roleplaying may be extensive--and the kicker is that you'll never know what might have happened.
I'm somewhat frustrated with myself right now in regards to the roleplaying game I'm currently participating in. The game itself is amazing and compelling. Everyone involved is fabulously creative and we're creating a majestic tapestry of a world together. But I can't help but feel like I'm letting myself and my character down lately, at least during the last two sessions.
I guess the two biggest things I'm kicking myself for are these:
1. I'm losing track of who, exactly, my character is. Now, granted, my character herself is dealing with some identity crises due to a plethora of recently-discovered other lives. But there should still be a core there who can react to that crisis, and who is trying to maneuver through the game world. It's fine to have a character who is unsure of herself, but I shouldn't be unsure of the words to put into her mouth. I've had too many incidences lately of coming up against the problem of "How the heck would Dahlia react to that?".
2. I like playing characters who are intelligent, and I rarely run into the "my character is smarter than me" problem. But I feel like this has constantly been happening lately...and I'm not even sure I can pin down a specific instance of it. So this one is a double-edged sword in that I not only feel stupid, but feel like I'm not living up to the character.
I'm honestly not sure how to go about fixing the problem. A month ago, I would have said that I had a great idea of who my character was and how to play her. Part of it may be that I've been crafting a bunch of past lives for her in the past two weeks, so I'm starting to disconnect from the persona I actually have to play. Another part may just be sheer mental fatigue from hitting crunch time at school, keeping me from being able to get into her head properly. Maybe I just need to spend more time with her, although the last session's journal was singularly unhelpful in that regard.
The most frustrating part is that in roleplaying games, there are no backsies. I can wake up the next day and think of the perfect thing for her to have said or done, but that's not the consensus version of events that we created. You get one shot at it, and the consequences of poor roleplaying may be extensive--and the kicker is that you'll never know what might have happened.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-23 05:27 pm (UTC)There's also the fact that all of us have been put in the situation of compromising some pretty core qualities. I've been wrestling with the fact that Anjesa isn't publishing even half of the things we've been running into, and I'm trying to decide if that's a sign of corruption of her core values or a sign that she's growing up.
I know you're busy, but want to have lunch next week? We can talk characters ;).
no subject
Date: 2011-11-23 08:19 pm (UTC)