How does a garden grow?

I'm seriously trying to get on top of the idea of starting a garden, since I have a nice-sized backyard that gets a lot of sun and it seems like a prudent idea to have my own veggie source going forward this year.  The whole thing is super intimidating though--the internet has lots of advice but it is complicated and there are umpteen million choices to make.

Really what I want is someone to just tell me "buy things A, B, C then do things X, Y, Z" and then there are tomatoes.  Or bell peppers.  Or I don't even know, just the choice of what to grow is daunting.  Worrying about soil acidity is a several-years-from-now problem.

Probably the first step is get seeds and maybe some soil because our soil is crap? (Not really; it would be better if it were literal crap, I think.  It's shot through with rocks and very thin sandy dirt in the backyard.)

On the plus side, I already have my very own trowel!  : D 
And a lot of bricks from the stupid landscaping in my front yard that I was going to remove and could turn into edging for garden beds...raised beds?  I don't even know. 

Advice for a 100% beginner is welcome.  I live in Illinois, USA in what the internet tells me is hardiness zone 5b.