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How (Not) To
Jul. 1st, 2013 03:35 pmSo I just finished a book (technically I finished it about a week ago) that was so appallingly bad, it was only by virtue of mocking it roundly to husband that I was even able to get to the end. There were many reasons for this--idiot plot violations of the highest caliber, glaring police/legal procedural mistakes about every other page, characters so two-dimensional they'd blow over in a stiff wind--but the worst thing about the book was the dialogue.
(I suppose I should say which book this was. True Blue by David Baldacci. For the love of god, don't read it unless you're a masochist of the MST3K variety.)
See, dialogue is one of those areas of writing craft that I have been paying special attention to lately. Well-written dialogue has all these half-seen markers that keep it flowing properly for the reader. Your brain should process the he/she saids, the little bits of action before/after/in the middle of a character's lines, and give you a running mental picture of the scene without having to stop to think about it. Since I don't have formal training in how to construct these things, I'm trying to note how good writers go about it.
Well, it turns out that bad writing can be just as instructive. Here's a hint: when I have to go back to the beginning of the conversation and count off every other paragraph to tell who says a particular line, you're doing it wrong. For gods' sakes, going on for a page and a half without attributing a single line to a character or including any actions does not make for snappy writing. It makes for writing that I have to re-read three times to get the gist of. (And if I can't tell who's saying what by nature of the dialogue itself, maybe you should figure out how to make your characters not all sound the same.)
On the plus side, I now have several specific things to look out for when editing my own writing. Yay that. Boo the several hours of my life I lost to that piece of utter dreck.
(I suppose I should say which book this was. True Blue by David Baldacci. For the love of god, don't read it unless you're a masochist of the MST3K variety.)
See, dialogue is one of those areas of writing craft that I have been paying special attention to lately. Well-written dialogue has all these half-seen markers that keep it flowing properly for the reader. Your brain should process the he/she saids, the little bits of action before/after/in the middle of a character's lines, and give you a running mental picture of the scene without having to stop to think about it. Since I don't have formal training in how to construct these things, I'm trying to note how good writers go about it.
Well, it turns out that bad writing can be just as instructive. Here's a hint: when I have to go back to the beginning of the conversation and count off every other paragraph to tell who says a particular line, you're doing it wrong. For gods' sakes, going on for a page and a half without attributing a single line to a character or including any actions does not make for snappy writing. It makes for writing that I have to re-read three times to get the gist of. (And if I can't tell who's saying what by nature of the dialogue itself, maybe you should figure out how to make your characters not all sound the same.)
On the plus side, I now have several specific things to look out for when editing my own writing. Yay that. Boo the several hours of my life I lost to that piece of utter dreck.
