korafox: (melancholia)
Have not been around much lately!  Sorry.  I wrapped up a few art projects in the last two weeks and have kind of been decompressing from creative work while I figure out what I want to do next.

Also work is being a bear crouched over my mental health and I don't think it's going to get any better for the next six weeks or so.  Without getting into details, I am trying to correct a pretty major problem that is 90% other people's oversight (I think I hope).  Besides the massive amount of time, effort, and detail juggling this is going to take, now my brain is internalizing the situation as My Fault and proof that I Am Doing It Wrong and this is rightfully going to reflect poorly on me in everyone's eyes.  *le sigh*

But hey, on the bright side, I am going to be moved up to full-time starting next month!  (Yay bennies!)  So at least if this is not fixed by August 1st I will have more hours in the day to work on it.  Oh gods, it had better be sorted out by then, though.

So yes, I am in holding pattern/mental health turtle position right now.  I will try my best to resurface before mid-September.
korafox: (braindead)
As the title says.  I worked a full day today, because one of my bosses is out of town and I found out last night that the other one would be calling in sick.  Thankfully, it was extremely quiet for a Monday and there were no crises.  I don't think I even have to qualify that with "no crises that couldn't wait until Tuesday".  At least I was able to pack a lunch.  However, I didn't sleep particularly well last night and I ended up having to brew extra coffee around lunchtime to hold on to my ability to string two words together.  Bottom line is that right now I feel exhausted and strung out, and I dare not have any more caffeine because I'm right on the edge of having a racing heartbeat as it is. 

And now my kitty is climbing on me.  Gee, it's almost like she missed me today.

So yes, I had grand plans of making an Indian curry dish tonight but there is no way.  Even if I had the energy, I do not have the actual time to let it cook in the crock pot like it would need to because I didn't get home until 5:30.  Oh well.  I guess it's spaghetti tonight, wretched failure of a homemaker that I am.  : P

Adulting

Dec. 12th, 2016 10:57 pm
korafox: (braindead)
It is remarkable how much of an Adult I feel like while heading to my new job, with my professional-ish clothes and my coffee mug and handling a million little problems all at once.  It is fulfilling to have what my brain apparently considers a Real Job, which I immediately recognized as toxic as shit, but I will take the self-esteem boost even as I try to smack down that particular bit of ableism.

Mum had a similar thing this weekend when she made a comment about how she's glad I have a job but she wishes I weren't being underutilized as a secretary.  Which, no, I pointed out that this is actually a really challenging and mentally stimulating job and I can already tell that without someone doing it the office would be in chaos by the end of the day.  Mum realized she was devaluing what is traditionally a women's work job, and she apologized.  

So yah.  Many adjustments to be made, and of course I was sick all last week and just getting over it now.  Which means I really need to be getting to bed now.  : /

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