korafox: wheat field with cypresses (Default)
1. I'm remembering that listening to music before bed helps immensely with the post-game emotional hangover the next morning.  It's like drinking plenty of water after booze, yes?  (I have never been able to drink enough to have a hangover, but this is my understanding.)  For each super-emotional RP scene you play, listen to at least one melodramatic-bittersweet song before going to bed.  I swear it works.

2.  Yay, game is back!  I got to have a scene between Dahlia and Nefin and I didn't screw it up and hopefully it set the right vector towards endgame!  (I swear to the gods we are not changing my ending again.  I like it how it is.)  It was so weird having the two of them speaking directly to one another.  Somewhere there's an alternate universe where Dahlia didn't get "killed" during the Gardens jailbreak, and the two of them reconciled early on and became a platonic crime-fighting duo or something.

3.  Now I need to write an interlude that happened just before this episode between the two of them and it's going to be a fine line to walk.  In my headcanon, Dahlia has a lot more visceral PTSD about him (and being stuck in a White Room-ish chapel and having him suddenly appear with her would be fucking terrifying and triggery for her), but it's difficult to play that out at table and keep it consistent.  Plus she needs to be able to be in the same space as him and functional in order to work out their issues, so that is limiting. 

4. And before I forget, I had the most amazing Steve and Bucky dream last night.  It was some sort of AU thing where they were both part of this secret assassin cult and Bucky had to go do this rite to keep an Elder God from waking up, but it was going to let the Elder God into his head.  And 99% of the time this results in the person going insane and the assassins have to kill them.  But after Bucky did the thing, Steve grabbed him and shook him and told him he had to fight it because otherwise, Steve was going to jump into Bucky's head to help fight it and he was going to die too.  So he made Bucky take back his mind to save him and it was amaaaaaazing and now I want to watch the Civil War movie.  Do I have to see the actual Avengers movies first?  Because I've only seen the Captain America ones.  : P
This dream probably brought to you by my brain making weird associations with HYDRA (the logo looks like Cthulhu!) and also this song, which is my unofficial Steve/Bucky anthem, being amongst my recent mp3 acquisitions.
korafox: (lilacs)
Because even though it's nominally about video games, there is plenty of grist for meta-consideration of roleplaying games also.  Particularly in terms of story design, pacing, and yes, even mechanics. 

And can I just say that after watching this week's episode, "How To Start Your Game Narrative" , I have even more appreciation for [personal profile] kilroy and the fact that he's more than willing to let us run with whatever crazy story we end up causing in any given session rather than shoehorn us into a pre-conceived plot.  Kudos to you, sir.

(Even if the gryphon problem we ignored is about to come back and bite us in the ass.)

korafox: (braindead)
There is a definite downside to writing up last week's roleplaying session log directly after my ride-along field reports.  Namely, the words "stated", "observed", "appeared to be", and "advised" are making waaaaay too many appearances for an RP write-up.  C'mon, brain.  Subjective reality can be true sometimes, too.  There's nothing wrong with saying how you feel (or more importantly, how that other guy was feeling).  New mantra: It's okay to assume!

On the plus side, I now have a lot more sympathy for the Fair Witnesses in Stranger in a Strange Land

korafox: Magician (magician)
Migraine all night?  I could definitely do without that.  Roleplaying wtih my awesome group after a two-week hiatus?  Yes, please.  Getting to play out some really poignant scenes with two of the NPCs I've been most in conflict about for the past month and a half?  Hells, yes.  Finally feeling like I'm getting back to my feet with this character again?  Glorious.  I can't think of a single thing that I wish I'd done differently.
Why is it that when I feel like I've gone through an emotional wringer, that's when I'm most satisfied with the session on all ends?  In any case, you rock my world, [personal profile] kilroy .  Keep up the good work.  (And major props to my fellow PCs.  Heavy stuff tonight, and you all were wonderful.)
korafox: (melancholia)
I believe it is safe to say that my character journal is just not getting done before game tonight.  I know I'll probably be kicking myself later when I have to un-know tonight's events in order to write it up properly, but...it's just not going to happen, as short as I could probably make it.  Game log was bad enough yesterday, and I feel like a zombie today.  And still an hour left to go at work.  Just please, for the love of God, let me be on-the-ball enough to roleplay properly tonight.  At least give me twenty minutes after work to put my head under a blanket and not have to deal with anything before it's time to head over.

0 for 2?

Nov. 23rd, 2011 09:03 am
korafox: (braindead)
So I'm in a sleep-deprived and caffeine-induced haze right now, but bear with me.

I'm somewhat frustrated with myself right now in regards to the roleplaying game I'm currently participating in.  The game itself is amazing and compelling.  Everyone involved is fabulously creative and we're creating a majestic tapestry of a world together.  But I can't help but feel like I'm letting myself and my character down lately, at least during the last two sessions. 

I guess the two biggest things I'm kicking myself for are these:
1. I'm losing track of who, exactly, my character is.  Now, granted, my character herself is dealing with some identity crises due to a plethora of recently-discovered other lives.  But there should still be a core there who can react to that crisis, and who is trying to maneuver through the game world.  It's fine to have a character who is unsure of herself, but I shouldn't be unsure of the words to put into her mouth.  I've had too many incidences lately of coming up against the problem of "How the heck would Dahlia react to that?".  
2. I like playing characters who are intelligent, and I rarely run into the "my character is smarter than me" problem.  But I feel like this has constantly been happening lately...and I'm not even sure I can pin down a specific instance of it.  So this one is a double-edged sword in that I not only feel stupid, but feel like I'm not living up to the character.

I'm honestly not sure how to go about fixing the problem.  A month ago, I would have said that I had a great idea of who my character was and how to play her.  Part of it may be that I've been crafting a bunch of past lives for her in the past two weeks, so I'm starting to disconnect from the persona I actually have to play.  Another part may just be sheer mental fatigue from hitting crunch time at school, keeping me from being able to get into her head properly.  Maybe I just need to spend more time with her, although the last session's journal was singularly unhelpful in that regard.

The most frustrating part is that in roleplaying games, there are no backsies.  I can wake up the next day and think of the perfect thing for her to have said or done, but that's not the consensus version of events that we created.  You get one shot at it, and the consequences of poor roleplaying may be extensive--and the kicker is that you'll never know what might have happened.
korafox: wheat field with cypresses (Default)
Wow.  Just wow.  Words fail me with how awesome this last session of The Next Thing was.  The only thing left to decide is whether I'll be able to do justice to it in my character journal.  Oh, and decide how the heck my character is going to deal with the events. 

These are not bad problems to have.   :)

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